Tuesday, October 8, 2013

When your heart is being shaped!

Life has been very busy and sometimes prioritizing and triaging is what keeps you sane! But here I am on a beautiful windy fall afternoon sitting on my kitchen table, sipping coffee and listening to quiet! 
Our family is being challenged lately, challenged with health issues and therefore our minds are challenged as well. 
But here is what helps me to stay positive and find joy. 

The love for my family is unshakable, they need me to be strong, loving, compassionate, nurturing and provide comfort where they find comfort nowhere else. As much as I dread housework, cooking, laundry etc. I see it as taking care of my Family, my Loves. So washing laundry is not just that, it's knowing when they put on their clean freshly folded clothes that it provides comfort. Watching my sons eyes get big when he sees his favorite shirt back in his dresser. Watching my husband in his big t-shirts and understanding that these are so comfortable to him right now and are easy to wear since he is physically challenged with his shoulder injury. Yes my friends it's all that and more. 

I find my strengths in him, our Lord! Keeping my eyes closely on him, leaning not on my own understanding and being reassured that this is part of his plan for me, because I am special to HIM! I am such a happiness seeking person and thought this is very important in my life, I have to have Happiness! Well it comes with a high degree of selfishness, it is selfish to satisfy only your needs and disregard the needs of the ones who need you. Also I am learning that happiness is always almost dependent on circumstances. If your circumstances are difficult you won't be happy. So instead I am looking for JOY. Joy comes from surrendering to him and enjoying even the smallest thing in your life. And think about it... The likelihood of big events happen in your life is very small compared to little things/ events that surround you every day. Little kids are such a great blessing, try to see this world through their eyes. When was the last time you paid attention on how many different flowers grow around you and have you ever thought about the complexity of an acorn. Kids steer your attention to what really matters and I embrace it so much, I can feel how my heart is being shaped into something so much greater. 

Certainly times are hard but if you truly surrender to our creator you will find out soon that these dark seasons are used by HIM to shape you so you can help others to stay strong in their faith. 

With that said I love taking pictures of my surroundings and especially my family, it captures the joy and love we have for HIM and each other. 

Sunset behind our house, it started raining and a rainbow appeared for 2 minutes it was magical. 

Play dough is such a fun activity that daddy can easily engage with, you have to listen to the conversation that come up during shaping, cutting, kneading... Oh boy I am telling you! 

AJ had such a high fever (look at his cheeks) and his brother felt like he needs to make him smile, well Zach great job accomplished... He is cracking up! 

He loves looking for bugs and he thinks he is the daddy of all ants:) it's really cute:) Zach has for d some amazing centerpiece this year and we have been researching on it a lot. 

Even when he is down he still masters a smile, those blue eyes never fail by the way:) 

First day of Mother's Day out. I was so thankful that my husband came with me, he is on a medical leave and was able to be there for .... Well I guess me. Cut the umbilical cord doesn't really work with me it somehow reattaches LOL:) 

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

My plan but ultimately your plan, really?

So for all of you who have missed me ( and I know it's a lot of you) I am or should I say we are back! 

The reason for this long pause was....well life. Life had me completely and utterly in his/her hands. Let me go back to June 14th 2013....

Once upon a time ( scratch that it didn't feel like a fairy tale at that time). My hubby required knee surgery on a weekend of his birthday and Father's Day, we went in on a Friday morning and while we were waiting we prayed, prayed that all goes well. During his surgery I was waiting and decided to grab some lunch. I asked the office manager for a good place to get a quick lunch and while she listed all my options she asked "are you pregnant" Nooooo I AM NOT" was my response. While walking down the street I thought that these gym pants really don't work to my advantage.
Fast forwarding to the next day...my hubby did extremely well, he was a great patient, took his Meds around the clock, did his exercises and iced his leg like a champ. Our kids developed a fever as well and that meant the master bedroom became the headquarters of this family. Trays of snacks were delivered, favorite shows were downloaded and watched, a little pillow fight when the Meds peaked and lots of snooze! 
All exhausted at night I checked my messages and my favorite German cousin asked me if I am pregnant. "What is wrong with you people" I mumbled in a whisper because the Hubby was asleep. 
Fast forwarding again... After unusual things happening to my body I finally called my doc and she suggested to take a pregnancy test otherwise they are not able to see me for at least 2 month. 
Oh boys I was a nervous wreck when I took that test and not even 30 seconds later, there it was two lines, definitely pregnant. 
Here is where my mind went blank. I remember calling my hubby and telling him that we are pregnant and let me tell you folks HE is a keeper, the most amazing man, I already knew He was the one but I fell in love with him over and over again that day. 

We talked about having another child but felt contentment with two and thought this was His plan for us. Only realizing that I wasn't listening, listening to his plan for me, for us. After weeks of prayers and worrying about this pregnancy ( initial complications) I started surrendering, He has a plan and I understand now that this is His gift and He will take care of us always! This feeling of peace allowed me to finally embrace this pregnancy and I am so excited. 
Last week we found out that this little sea monkey is a baby girl. All s coming together. 

Thank you all who shared and is still sharing this journey of life, faith and joy with me. God has placed all of you in my life for a reason, I love all of those "Reasons" dearly!  

Sunday, June 16, 2013

A Birthday, a knee and a family!

Life is grand and crazy, eh? 
I could start this post of how we juggled a lot of balls in the air this week and how one ball dropped and then another, but instead I will tell you how we picked those balls back up and kept them flying in the air. 
First it took a great deal of giving it up, surrender! We are not in control, what we can control is attitudes and emotions. 

So this week we got news about my husband needing knee surgery and its going to be a day before his birthday. Wham we had a big party planned so it took us a couple of swallows and blinks before we got to that place of acceptance. So we prepared, almost like you are preparing before a big storm hits you. When you go to the store and you think you need to buy 3 gallons of milk for the next 3 days, and you remember that the family is running out of everything like shampoos, a d toilet paper ( we shop at Costco for goodness sake, not running out for the next 3 month). We got all kinds of favorite snacks, fruits, books etc. 
The day of the surgery went really well and our awesome Nanny ( nope not giving out her number, sorry!) took care of the boys while I stayed with my husband. On the ride home I tried to drive extra carefully but chatted so much that I took the railroad crossing with full speed, drove through every single pothole in middle Tennessee and only saw the light changing last minute which resulted in our bodies bending forward and crushing back into the seat ( I know you really want to drive with me)! 
So what did we do the last few days?
The master bedroom became the operation center of our house a d every vital decision took place on our bed. We really spend intimate, sweet, victorious, sad, happy, encouraging and loving time as a family of 4 ( well 7 really since the dogs and cat claim to have partial ownership of our bed). Then our Zachy got sick with real high fevers and we pulled out our iPads and iPhones, watched dinosaur picture, spiders with 6 eyes, movies, Toy story was watched over and over, Popsicles in bed, we mastered the art of eating blueberries with a popping sound, family dinners were eaten in bed and we overdosed in snuggles. 

I love how our minds are strong and how our attitudes are right! 

Patient is checking on patient:) love how they nap together I catch myself gazing at them! 

Did I mention we celebrated a birthday? More of that to come! 

Lots of snuggles! 

We did sneak out today for 2 hours to refuel while our nannyspend some time with the boys! We passed this ocean of flags and stopped to take pictures. Beautiful and powerful! 

Friday, June 14, 2013

Shutter speed Friday summer edition

This week we had a nice balance going between slow, comfy, coffee mug hugging mornings and crazy, fun filled summer days. 
Enjoy the pictures and have a great weekend, make it count! 

We went swimming with our Moms group and we had a great turnout, Zachy was on squirting patrol:) 

And then we saved the planet and got rid of all the "bad guys". A life of a super hero. 

Oh and we discovered the restaurant "five guys" the best BLT burger I have ever eaten, even my picky 3 year old praised the hot dog and fries. 

Puzzle mania! 

We checked out that new farmers market and loved us some juicy strawberries, then we went to the Park with our mouthes full of evidence.

The unexpected happened dinosaurs vs mystery machine right on our patio. We had front seating. 

This dude sleeps with his eyes open and yes it does freak me out! He fell asleep during our pool outing on the last day we used his portable car seat. ( of course) . He never slept in this thing in public. 

And here it is. Some pride in his new ride. No seriously he loves it. 

Oh and remember our party... Just to have one, my boys are my super hero. 

We have wrestling matches now, wild wild wrestling. 

With this little rock star I am going to say good night... It was a long week:) 

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Celebrations happen every day!

Why waiting for a "big" occasion to have a party? BIG things happen every day around you. We decided at the beginning of this week that we will have a little party, a celebration of great accomplishments. Cheering for the small things that are oh so big.

So we went to the dollar store and I let Zachy pick our party supplies ( hence the red white and blue leis). You could see how his nose crinkled and he was thinking of what the party should look like. "we really need this Mami" 
While the boys napped I iced the cake, blew up balloons, poured maracuja juice into our fancy pineapple straw cups, stuck candles in the Superhero cake and all while I was making up a celebration song in my head that do this weeks events justice. 

When the boys got up they immediately were into it. Eyes sparkled, happy dances were performed and claps echoed in the room. We had a blast eating cake and signing our great celebration song.

We celebrated Zachy overcoming some fears this week, AJ graduating into his new car seat, and simply being thankful to be able to be together. We want our kids to know that we cheer for them, always cheer for the little things. 

So have a party:) 

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Summer "Bucket List"

Our summer bucket list is essential for not missing a Thing. Our list is made of "definitely", "most likely" and "maybe". I think this bright summery bucket list makes me more aware of what summers have to offer and really reminds me to enjoy these moments. This years summer will be so different from next years summer. I want to lean into the experience, open up my senses and take it all in! 
Here are some items on our list: 

- eat lots of posspsicles

- catch fireflies in a mason jar and stare at it until the firefly lights up and squeals are heard all over. 

- have sand between our toes ( and teeth- eek) 

- chase littles 

- Catch and release a turtle! They just find their way onto our lawn. We named him OKO. 

- roll down grassy hills and belly laugh so hard that it hurts.

- have a water ballon warrior match

- visit a fancy ice cream pallor ( we take reccomandations) 

- BBQ lots 

- grow fins from beeing in the water so much:) 

And the list goes on and on. We will have a big vacation coming up in September which we looking forward to, but until then we enjoy what's right in front of us. 

This little guy loves to be on the move, but when you give him a popsicle he will sit still until the entire Popsicle is in belly heaven. 

Scooby picnic:) 

Rainbow snow comes :) 

Lizard bath 

Enjoy your summer and stay cool. 

Friday, June 7, 2013

Shutter speed Friday

Just before the weekend I thought I give you a glimpse of my week:) Shutter Speed Friday it is! 

We want to Costco and yes we arrived early (I know crazy huh?) I love this picture. A boy looking for lizards.

Parks and playground visits are a great afternoon adventure( for now, you know the heat is coming). 

We built ( well drew)  an entire city in 45 minutes. So educational for Mommy's as well. For instance did you know that a dinosaur needs to go to the bank, should have known since money dosent grow on trees...right Brachiosaurus? 

This week we have overcome some fears, like climbing little rock walls, sliding big slides and climbing on these bar step thingies:). It is so empowering watching him glow with pride after his big accomplishment. I think we need to have a party, yeah a "I can do it" party.... Who's in? 

You know how you have to soak reallly dirty clothes before putting them in the washer, well that's what we do before bath time. Our new ritual: run through the sprinkler, soak soak soak and then it's time for the tub. Hahahaa just kidding it simply happened that way:) 

Wash the puppies:) stinky little Bounz and Sammy! 

We go on morning walks (late morning.. I need coffee first) and look for turtles, we name them (mostly OKO), give him a temporary home and  ring them back to the lake( after all Mommy and Daddy miss their baby turle ) which results in frequent turtle passengers in my car. 

We celebrated Life! The Life of a special 1 year old boy. We sang about 2O Happy Birthday to youuuuu ( a request from his big brother) and simply thanked God for A.J. 

Whois with me on that? Coffee is such a life saver lately. I seriously need to cut down. On a side note when did you start drinking coffee? I started when I was training as a nurse... you know what I mean:) 

And I stayed in the moments this week. I love these guys. We are excited to have Daddy back this weekend and enjoy our togetherness. 

Have a great weekend and enjoy the small things. 

Wednesday, June 5, 2013


When I first found out I was pregnant I was certain that we will have a girl. After all girl stuff i know: hair bows, makeup, dolls, cute clothes etc. 
But then Baddabangbadabum:congratulations it's a boy..... 2 years later.....congratulations it's a boy! 

WoW I am a Mom of two boys! And Iam so in love. Here is the thing about boys...they have endless energy, really they do, bugs are pets, water puddles count for a bath, modesty is totally overrated, if there's a wall there's a jump, racing cars are accessories that become nessecities and if I come across one more fake spider (they look real) I might call the exterminator! 

But the moments when I can hear the grass grow and a squirrels heartbeat are so deep down ankered in my heart. When Zachy wants to cuddle or snuggle. See there is a difference between a cuddle ( lie next to me) or a snuggle ( lie next to me and put your arms around me). When Zachy talks to me in his super serious voice because it is just way to important to miss it. A.J.'s smiles, which expose his two upper and lower teeth, make you forget any worries of today, tomorrow or yesterday, he pulls you right back into the moment. 

When Zachary became a big brother he seemed to take very well to the big change and we thought "that's awesome" but giving it some thought and me being more a realist, I was waiting for the big storm, or the hammer to come down. And sure enough a couple weeks later we wre driving to the zoo when Zachary asked me. "Are we going to find a new Home for A.J.? Bam there it was. I am not sure what exactly my answer was but I know I gave it a lot of thought... Too much thought because now he loves his brother dearly. Sometimes I just stare at them and pull it all in... It fills my heart with warmth watching them laugh together, or play hide under the sheets. Zachary is A.J.'s safety police ( its so funny to watch) , he makes his little brother laugh when tears are rolling down his cheeks, a car ride is never boring when you have Z man next to you. 

 BROTHERboys  they are!

Not to mention how Knowlegable I am now about bugs ( and their babies), turtle ( which are frequent passengers in my car to release them back into the lake) and dinosaurs! 

Friday, May 31, 2013

Turn the corner

This picture is our "Turn the corner" breakthrough! It was well needed and changed our attitudes.

WOW! How can you go from a great fantastic day to a day filled with atomic meltdown, stressed Mama and really overtired kids. Well after really thinking about it ( with a glass of wine under the stars) I do know! It comes down to Expectations. What we expect from our kids is sometimes not reasonable and they are setup for failure... Simply because your kids are kids! After running errands for 4 hours and a long ride home, getting the house straightened and taking a crib apart just to put it back together our day was just lined up for an epic failure! 

See a couple of times I heard and read it is your choice how you feel and what your attitude is. But when you are stuck in the moment you just need an ice breaker... Something that brings clarity into your so complex day. Keep it simple and you will see the greater picture again. For us that was just that today. 

In the late afternoon we decided to go outside to refill our (big) kiddie pool. We weren't planning on splashing or water fun because it was raining a little. My three year old Munchkin had different plans. After telling him more than a couple of times to keep the hose in the pool it just klicked. I sound like a broken record...so the next time he took the hose out I told him " hey if you take the hose out again I am going to tackle you into the pool" Ha you had to have seen this challenging look on his face. He felt empowered and next thing you know we both landed in the fresh chilly pool water. Clarity was on the Horizon. 

So in the future I will try not to over schedule my kids or have unreal expectations for them. I understand that errands have to be done but I should have maybe taken them to a park afterwards or let them play, maybe treated them to some summer fun frozen yogurt. 

Extra snuggles tonight! 

Real Mom stuff:) 

Thursday, May 30, 2013

These crazy hazy lazy days of summer!!!

Summer and I are officially in a good standing relationship! For a very long time I dreaded summers. summers stood for: heat, bathing attire ( such a struggle), hot cars, sunburns, humidity, sweating, crowded pools and lakes, sunscreen grease all over, sand everywhere, schlepping beach stuff etc. 

This year I took this reality and tear it apart into small vibrant morsels to reassemble it into a meaningful pattern. This year I am so blessed to be able to stay at home with my boys and raise them! So we started summer with this beautiful picture traced with our watermelon sticky fingers: 

Summers are: seasonal heat that warmth your body from the inside and out, bathing suits for a body that brought life into this world...twice ( if you see it from this perspective), thank you for A/C in cars and homes ( Thank you Willis carrier- inventor of AC), sunburns that lovingly and tenderly get cared for by your Loved ones, tropical weather that allows you to dance in the rain and let the big raindrops cool of your sizzling skin, watermelon smell and juice dripping from exciting little mouthes who are still in their wet swim shorts waiting eagerly to get back to the next squirting match. Shimmering sunscreen on your little ones skin that when sitting in the tub reminds you of a beautiful day. Exhausted little tanned faces buried in pillows at night because they had just too much fun. Ahhhh sitting on your patio and watching fireflies zooming around you while smelling the citronella scent. 


 Watermelon for big and small. The smell just screams SUMMER. I love how the juicy watermelon runs down his chunky belly:)

Awesome morning bouncing on the trampoline, still in PJ's. I think our neighbors know all of our different Pajama outfits by now. Sadly-gladly! 

Wet little munchkin enjoying his snack. 

Our poolside. We love it. Note the little aligator on the pool edge. All we need!

Morning discovery hikes. We use all of our sciences to appreciate the simple things that means so much. 

... And we then cherish them by making these treasures our center piece on our dining room table. 

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Carfty Days

I think I am getting a little hang of this parenting Thing, because I have time again to be crafty with and for my kids. I also started to tackle some of those projects on my list... Paint kitchen (Riggghht), make picture books for kids, find creative yummy recipe etc....!
I know I must be running on caffeine:) But I do love being creative. especially when a great idea comes to mind. Pinterest is such an inspiration on one hand but on the other hand it can be overwhelming at the same time. All these save for later projects that I pinned to my Boards add a little stress sometimes....but then there is that one time that you find a cool pin that makes your life a little easier or you find the perfect recipe:)! You neva knowww!!!
We recently used a Groupon to get the boys room painted in a darker blue. It looks so pretty. My son is in love with it as well. We love the boys names on the walls. Both times when I was expecting this was one of my projects:) 
What I am actually talking about is the pin wall that I made for them. I used a white canvas and finger paints. There was a messy fun zone going on. I then used package string and wrapped it around the canvas. Horizontal and Vertical so pictures could slide into the string. 
Zachy's was a lot of fun. For the last year I used this canvas as a table protection when he did a craft. So this one has some special moments in it. We recently went on a hike and found some neat feathers which I slid into the pin wall and a couple of current pictures. 
Zachy is so into it and asking questions or telling me what happened in a certain pictures. We love walking down memory lane. Cherish them and talk about making more awesome memories. That's what life is all about!